Lessons From The Future

 

 

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Volume X
Lessons From The Future

YEAR OF THE EYELYZER 

IF YOU DRANK AND DROVE DURING THE PAST HOLIDAY SEASON AND DIDN'T GET NABBED, CONSIDER YOURSELF LUCKY. MANY DID AND FOUND THE EXPERIENCE PAINFUL. NEXT YEAR, YOUR ODDS OF "BEATING THE RAP", IF YOU DO GET STOPPED, WILL QUITE LIKELY BE MUCH LOWER. "EYELYZER" WILL BE ON GUARD.

"WHAT IS THAT?" YOU SAY. FIRST, YOU CAN'T BLAME THE JAPANESE OR THE AMERICANS FOR THIS ONE. IT'S A CANADIAN DEVELOPMENT. IT IS THE LATEST HIGH TECH INSTRUMENT IN THE PHARMACOLOGICAL ARMAMENTARIUM AGAINST DRUNKEN DRIVERS. IT CAN BE USED, EVEN IF YOU ARE UNCONSCIOUS OR INCAPABLE OF TAKING A DEEP BREATH. SINCE THIS 15-SECOND TEST DOESN'T PENETRATE THE BODY, IT INVOKES NO "INVASION OF PRIVACY" STATUTES. AND BECAUSE IT IS MORE ACCURATE THAN THE BREATHALYZER, A HIGHER NUMBER OF SUCCESSFUL PROSECUTIONS IS ANTICIPATED.

BECAUSE IT IS ONLY MEASURING ONE ITEM - ALCOHOL. SINCE THIS IS THE ONLY FLAMMABLE CHEMICAL IN THE HUMAN BODY THAT IS FOUND IN READABLE CONCENTRATIONS, AN INSTRUMENT DESIGNED TO MEASURE IT CAN BE VERY ACCURATE. MEASURED THROUGH FLUIDS IN THE EYES, IT CAN'T BE DISTORTED BY THAT LAST BIG DRINK, OTHER LIQUIDS, ENVIRONMENTAL FUMES, OR THE FACT THAT YOU CAN'T TAKE A DEEP BREATH ... ALL THESE ARE MATTERS THROWN UP IN THE PAST AS LEGAL DEFENCES AGAINST THE BREATHALYZER -- KNOWN AS "THE LAST GULP" DEFENCE IN THE JARGON OF THE TRADE. ON TOO MANY OCCASIONS THE DEFENCES WERE SUCCESSFUL.

DEVELOPED BY PHARMACOLOGIST GWYNNE GILES, AT THE UNIVERSITY OF TORONTO, AND HIS RESEARCH TEAM CONSISTING OF S. MEGGIORINI, E.I. VIDINS AND Y. ISRAEL, IT HAS BEEN TESTED BY THE ADDICTION RESEARCH FOUNDATION. THEY FOUND IT DID INDEED GIVE MORE ACCURATE READINGS THAN A BREATHALYZER. IN MEASUREMENTS ON 68 VOLUNTEERS, AN EYE AND BLOOD TEST COMBINATION PRODUCED A 95 PERCENT ACCURACY LEVEL. ACCORDING TO A LETTER FROM GILES PUBLISHED IN THE BRITISH MEDICAL JOURNAL "THE LANCET", THE BREATHALYZER ONLY REACHED AN ACCURACY LEVEL OF 85 PERCENT UNDER THE SAME TESTING.

LOOK FOR EVEN MORE STRINGENT ANTI-DRINKING REGULATIONS WHEN THIS DEVICE GETS INTO WIDE USAGE. M.A.D.D. WILL LOVE IT.

MORE INFORMATION: GWENN GILES, DEPT. OF PHARMACOLOGY, UNIV. OF TORONTO, TORONTO, ONTARIO OR THE ADDICTION RESEARCH FOUNDATION, TORONTO, ONTARIO M5S 2S1. TEL 416/595-6000.

 

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