YEAR OF THE EYELYZER 

********************

IF YOU DRANK AND DROVE DURING THE PAST HOLIDAY SEASON AND DIDN'T GET NABBED, CONSIDER YOURSELF LUCKY. MANY DID AND FOUND THE EXPERIENCE PAINFUL. NEXT YEAR, ODDS OF "BEATING THE RAP", IF YOU DO GET STOPPED, WILL LIKELY BE MUCH HIGHER. "EYELYZER" WILL BE ON GUARD.

YOU CAN'T BLAME THE JAPANESE OR THE AMERICANS FOR THIS ONE. IT'S A CANADIAN DEVELOPMENT THE LATEST HIGH TECH INSTRUMENT IN THE PHARMOCOLOGICAL ARMAMENTARIUM AGAINST DRUNKEN DRIVERS. IT CAN BE USED ON YOU EVEN IF YOU ARE UNCONSCIOUS OR ARE INCAPABLE OF TAKING A DEEP BREATH. SINCE THIS 15-SECOND TEST DOESN'T PENETRATE YOUR BODY, IT INVOKES NO "INVASION OF PRIVACY" STATUTES AND BECAUSE IT IS MORE ACCURATE THAN THE BREATHALYZER, A HIGHER NUMBER OF SUCCESSFUL PROSE- CUTIONS IS ANTICIPATED.

IT ONLY MEASURES ONE ITEM -- ALCOHOL. AND, SINCE THIS IS THE ONLY FLAMMABLE CHEMICAL IN THE HUMAN BODY THAT IS FOUND IN READABLE CONCENTRATIONS, AN INSTRUMENT DESIGNED TO MEASURE ONLY THAT SUBSTANCE CAN BE VERY ACCURATE. MEASURED THROUGH FLUIDS IN THE EYES, IT CAN'T BE DISTORTED BY THAT LAST BIG DRINK, OTHER LIQUIDS, ENVIRONMENTAL FUMES, OR THE FACT THAT YOU CAN'T TAKE A DEEP BREATH.

ALL THESE MATTERS HAVE BEEN THROWN UP IN THE PAST AS LEGAL DEFENSES AGAINST THE BREATHALYZER. IN THE JARGON OF THE TRADE THEY ARE KNOWN AS "THE LAST GULP" DEFENSE. ON TOO MANY OCCASIONS, IT APPEARS THEY WERE SUCCESSFUL.

DEVELOPED BY GWYNNE GILES, A PHARMOCOLOGIST AT THE UNIVERSITY OF TORONTO, AND HIS RESEARCH TEAM OF S. MEGGIORINI, E.I. VIDINS AND Y. ISRAEL, THE EYELYZER TESTED BY THE ADDICTION RESEARCH FOUNDATION IN TORONTO GAVE MORE ACCURATE READINGS THAN A BREATHALYZER. IN MEASURE- MENTS ON 68 VOLUNTEERS, AN EYE AND BLOOD TEST COMBINATION PRODUCED A 95 PERCENT ACCURACY LEVEL. ACCORDING TO A LETTER FROM GILES JUST PUBLISHED IN THE BRITISH MEDICAL JOURNAL "THE LANCET", THE BREATHA- LYZER ONLY REACHED AN ACCURACY LEVEL OF 85 PERCENT UNDER THE SAME TESTING.

LOOK FOR EVEN MORE STRINGENT ANTI-DRINKING REGULATIONS WHEN THIS DEVICE GETS INTO WIDE USAGE. M.A.D.D. WILL JUST LOVE IT. MORE INFORMATION: GWENN GILES, DEPT. OF PHARMACOLOGY, UNIV. OF TORONTO, TORONTO, ONTARIO

OR THE ADDICTION RESEARCH FOUNDATION, TORONTO, ONTARIO M5S-2S1. PHONE: (416) 595-6000.

* * *

< previous | chapter index | next >
back to Main Chapter Listing
back to Home Page